Sometimes the process of becoming gentler, of becoming nonviolent doesn’t feel nonviolent or gentle. I think this is because we resist the changes, changes that we have asked for with our whole hearts. Only the new stuff is, well NEW! It’s an unknown. Sometimes the unknown is scary, thus “old habits die hard”. But in order to allow the person we truly are to come into being, we have to let go of the old, the comfortable, the familiar. Yes, even the pain that we hold so dear has to be released. In spite of beliefs to the contrary, our pain doesn’t make us who we are.
The process of opening our hearts, our minds, our souls is painful only because we, deep in our fears, cling so tightly to our old ways. It can be painless if we not only allow but encourage the opening, the changes. Try it first on something small, just to get used to it and to get a feel for how it works. Then continue with things of ever-increasing importance until letting go and opening to change becomes easier and more comfortable. It may never be that thing you dance for joy over but eventually it can become something you accept with grace, ease and even (gasp!) gratitude.