During my morning meditations I noticed my womb seemed to carry odd cold spots, little frozen places where the energy was stuck. At first I thought nothing of it, content to go about my life as usual. It began to dawn on me that I was getting feedback, there was a message in that chill. At first I tried all the conventional alternative methods I knew for moving stuck energy, thinking this was just another matter of me needing a physical healing. I laid hands over my womb, drew energy from Heaven & Earth & poured it into my womb, allowing the energy to thaw & eventually warm the chill spots. The next day there they would be again as though I had done absolutely nothing. A little frustrating to be sure, but I figured some things take time to heal & this was one of those things that needed plenty of attention & energy. I thought perhaps it was depleted in the cold areas. Finally I was lead to simply do nothing. Allow my womb to be as it was & it would eventuly tell me what was needed. It did. Eventually.
The Goddess is never late. Ever. She is always right where She needs to be when She needs to be there. I was lead to talk, yes TALK to my womb. Not only was I to talk to my womb, but just as importantly or maybe moreso, I was to LISTEN to what she had to say in response. So I listened. I paid attention. My womb had plenty to say; there was plenty in that stuckness for me to feel fully & to thoroughly process. I learned that indeed my womb was blocked though not depleated, her fountain sluggish. The energy was there, it just had nowhere to go because I wasn’t regularly & thoroughly using my gifts. There was no outlet for the well, no one drawing water so a fresh supply could come in & replenish things. I noticed that I was very thirsty. If you go long periods without a drink you begin to dry up from the inside out. I was becoming energetically mummified. Mummies may be fascinating, awe inspiring, even, but no one has ever accused them of being beautiful. I am quite vain in many respects; I want nothing about me to resemble a mummy ever. So again I sat & I listened.
I have a habit of ignoring my talents in the interest of being “practical”. My gifts aren’t of the mathematical or business variety. I am more of the fuzzy, artistic type. I write. I ply with animals. I do energy work. Not exactly the sort of thing that comes to mind as “practical”. But ignoring these parts of myself results in general unhappiness, undirected anger, fatigue & listlessness. I love living full-tilt & then writing about it, especially when that life includes interesting places, my dogs & Ibi. I get so pumped full of ideas when I spend hours exploring a trail with my pups, seeing the fabulousness of nature, meandering round town, twirp or parrot in tow, finding local treasures or helping bring a smile to an unfamiliar face & then coming home to my ‘puter to tell of the day’s adventures. I also find that no matter how much I truly adore such meanderings I can get pretty caught up in the draggy day-to-day of life unless I have a commitment to doing some outside thing. I get gripey & bitchy about the amount of faith required on my part to accept that what I’m doing will bear sufficient financial fruit. The Lady is always on time & never late. I know this. It sometimes requires a larger dose of faith than I can muster to not only accept this Truth but to remember that She hasn’t actually forgotten about me entirely, put me on celestial hold & gone on vacation. This is absolutely not easy, no matter how much others may comment on my seemingly great faith. Things always look greater than they are when you’re looking from the outside in.
So now I have learned to check in with my womb regularly. There are times when it’s all fire; I know then I am on track. Other times – like lately – I can feel the cold seeping back in. Time to clear the well & allow the waters to flow clean & copiously again. I often put my writing & alone time aside for others; what womb talk has taught me is that I must maintain those things for myself or I will suffer & be utterly useless to those I so readily give my time to help. I have no idea what the equivalent to womb talk would be for men, but considering I am literally connecting with the creative principle within me there must be something similar for my beloved brothers to access within themselves if only they’d care to look & listen.*
The Lady never makes mistakes, though She may experiment from time to time. We are co-creators with Her in the microcosm of our lives & the macrocosm of the world & universe around us. We can access this creative principle, this life source readily within ourselves. It’s not always easy & we don’t always want to hear what our wombs have to say, but if we are to live fully, authentically from the depths of our truest selves then we have to make the time to speak, ask & truly LISTEN to the answers of our wombs. This is that part of ourselves most in touch with the Lady, the place of connection to & communion with Life. It can seem a swirling mass of chaos & most likely is; this is where things are created, conceived & eventually spring forth as infants ready to be further shaped, whittled & smoothed by bumping up against other ideas, both those of others & those within ourselves. What appears to be chaos is all over again the primordial soup, the idea swirl from which all creation ushers forth. Frightening at times, absolutely. But here is where we need to go, the place we need to keep in touch with. Wondering whether this is the correct path we’re on? Checking in with our wombs will let us know if we are willing to listen, to own that powerful, beautiful, terrifying source within ourselves.
*As I am not male I have an idea where this source may be located within men but can not verify it since I possess a female form & don’t know yet how to enter a living male & explore (or perhaps I do know but am loathe to admit it). I learn & share from experimentation & this sort of exchange would require a huge amount of trust on my part, not to mention on the part of the man whose body I would be sharing for the duration of my explorations. Just know my beloved brothers that this source of power, beauty & creativity is within you as well. Play around with searching it out, with listening. When you find it let’s compare notes; I’d love to chat with others about their experiences & explorations!