The Barefoot Vegan Chick

#1: I exist. Therefore I am worthy. Therefore I deserve to have my desires fulfilled.
Pipette is very good at this. She never questions whether she is worthy of something she wants. She wants it & that’s that. No issues about asking for what she wants, either. No guilt. And she doesn’t easily accept “no” if she really, really, REALLY wants something. My other dogs may go lay down, sulk & wish if I say no, but not Pipette. If she wants it, she’ll find a way to get it.

#2: Being adorable gets you a whole lot of really good stuff!
Sure, it’s great to focus on what you want & go for it. However there are many ways to “go for it”, some easier than others. Being adorable can open doors when you didn’t think there were any doors at all. It can get you amazing loot, too! People respond to sweetness. Dogs respond to sweetness. Remember that old saying of your grandma’s that used to annoy you? “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar”? It’s true. Being adorble is a lot less stressful than the current tactic in vogue of being snarky & rude, a.k.a. “keeping it real”. You ever notice how real is code for nasty & an excuse for being mean? Nobody ever seems to be keeping it real if it’s wonderful, pleasant or fun. Trust me, adorable gets you much more of what you want than bitching, whining or sniping ever will.

#3: Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Pipette weighs somewhere around 9 or 10 lbs. She’s literally the smallest mammal in the house. If it wasn’t for Ibi the Amazon, she’d be the smallest being in the house. The cat is bigger than Pipette. In Pipette’s mind she’s Grande Dame of the household. She has no problem getting in anybody’s face if they rub her the wrong way. When we’re out & about in town she carries the same air. If you’re rude she WILL tell you off & be quick about it if you’re a dog; if you’re a human, she’ll walk away from you & refuse to interact. Either way, she’s perfectly willing to & capable of protecting her space & dignity when necessary.

#4: If you like something, show your appreciation heartily.
It’s easy to fall into the habit of not saying thank you or even acknowledging when someone does something or gives us something we really like. We don’t want to seem “gushy”. Why? If you seem like you couldn’t care less then what’s the incentive for someone to do something for or give you anything ever again? Where’s the pleasure in doing something for someone who only notices when we’re doing something they don’t like? Pipette is always enthusiastic about things I do for her that make her happy. Car ride? Woohoo! Toy time? YAY!!! Snuggle time? Mmmmm! If someone does something you like or gives you something you really enjoy then say so & with the enthusiasm equal to the amount of your pleasure! And none of that ridiculous “sandwiching” technique of nice-complaint-nice. Save your complaints for another time, not when you just got that bracelet you’ve been aching for as a total surprise. Keep that up & all you’ll end up with is a sandwich you make yourself.

#5: If you don’t like something, graciously decline the offer.
Another offer to go out with people you aren’t particularly fond of? No need to screw up your face & act like there’s poop on their clothes nor cave in & have a miserable time. Smile & graciously make judicious use of the word “no”. Someone insists you eat caviar & you utterly detest it? No problem. Firmly but politely decline their offer. You could even suggest something you’d like better. No need to bitch slap them nor accept something you’d rather not. No isn’t a dirty word, but neither is it necessary to be nasty – most of the time (see lesson #3). Pipette doesn’t much care for quail at the moment. She doesn’t make a fuss, she simply won’t eat it unless it’s mixed in with other stuff or she’s really hungry. I may think it’s a special treat, but she doesn’t. We don’t fight about it & she doesn’t try ot take my hand off because I had the gall to serve her quail for supper. She simply sniffs it, sits politely by her dish, looks at me & wags her tail fully expecting me to remove the offending birdy bits & replace it with something more to her liking. (FYI, these are the nights she goes hungry. I don’t cater to picky eaters. Remove even the possibility of treats between meals & she finds quail very tasty the next day.)

#6: Know when you need help & don’t be afraid to ask for or accept it.
Pipette, like my other dogs, eats a raw diet. Occasionally she gets a bone stuck in her teeth. Mighty uncomfortable. She doesn’t hesitate to accept my help. I have opposable thumbs very useful for removing stuck things. Likewise, going outside to potty is quite uncomfortable in winter. Coats are lovely things to have, but she can’t get them on herself & she won’t go outside in the cold without one. I help her get into & out of her coat & even put sweaters on when she’s cold in the house. I give out the food & treats, too. All things she can’t do herself. Can you imagine how things would go if she was like many of us & refused help “on principle”? Dinner would be a rare & unhappy occurrence; no treats, no toys, no warm clothing, no gifts, no FUN!!! It’s a pleasure to allow others to help when we need it & sometimes just because they can. It makes life far easier & more pleasurable. I really need to remember this one. I can be a real do-it-myself kinda girl. Things are a lot easier when I allow other people the pleasure of helping me.

Hey, my lovlies! Just a quick note to a) state the obvious & b) show gratitude for those of you who keep checking in! First things first: the obvious. I’ve taken a break from blogging for a while to get my “house” in order. I have a million ideas all firing off in my lovely, super creative brain & a big desire to share them all with you, my readers. All at once. I needed to hit the pause, make a few distinctions & find a focus for my passion, which is true health, from healthy herbivorous living to the thoughts you think & the company you allow yourself to keep regularly. It all fits together, but I do have to have a focus in order to share it in a meaningful way. So. I paused to get the needed focus & I’ll be back in the saddle, so to speak, shortly!

The next point: gratitude. This is the point of personal power for sure! Mama Gena likens gratitude to being at a banquet, filling your mouth & SWALLOWING. Like enjoying the luscious meal at a banquet, you can’t take in more deliciousness unless you first swallow & empty your mouth. Gratitude is the “swallowing” part of life. Saying thank you & showing appreciation for what you have paves the way for more good stuff to come into your life. So I am right here & now acknowledging each of you, my readers, for taking time from your busy schedules & sharing some of that preciousness with me. Should you choose to continue following there are some wonderful things in store for you! Every distinction I make I make with an eye always towards the question “How can I better be of service?” In the weeks to come I hope to be able to provide more useful content & perhaps even a service or two. Stay tuned! In the mean time, thank you so very much & enjoy this holiday time when giving thanks is very much the center of attention & remember to swallow!

It’s November. Already. Here I am at a month from my 44th birthday & I feel awesome! Plenty of people have said things like “Your teen years are the best!” (makes me wonder where they spent thier teen years) or “your twenties are the prime of your life.” Really??? Wow, if my twenties were my prime I’m happy to be going down hill & hope to go a little faster. I feel way better now than I did at pretty much any other time in my life. I’m stronger, healthier, more focused & have more energy than I’ve ever had, save when I was a little kid with the run-on energy that accompanies most small children. In a word: I feel invincible!

Diet had a lot to do with my current state of affairs, as did getting active, but the thing that had the most impact & allowed me to make the outward changes was my mindset. I used to be a numb chica. I mean it! About six years ago I was so shut down I literally didn’t feel a thing. Oh sure, outwardly I seemed really happy. Many shut down people do. It’s a great defense mechanism; if nobody knows you have a problem they can’t ask you about it & make you take notice. I got tired of living in that place, however. The world looked like a fantastic place to be in & engage with. I wanted to sample life before I didn’t have any left to sample. I started reading, experimenting & playing. I learned to inhabit my body fully. Some experiments didn’t turn out the way I’d have preferred & some turned out much, much better. In every case I learned something valuable. And that’s the key to “eternal youth” & invicibility: always be open to learning & trying new things!

You ever notice babies? They don’t think themselves into knots before they decide to try taking a step. They see, they desire & they do. End of story. Yes, I know babies aren’t aware of consequences & it would be really stupid to just fling yourself around without understanding the potential risks, but that’s usually where we stop. We see the risks & stare hypnotized by them, never bothering to see the grand benefits lying right beside them. No, the risks are our whole world & they’re where most of us stop, sadly, for the duration of our lives, never finding out what we’re capable of. But what if we didn’t? What if instead of turning potential risks into “THE THIIINNNGGG!!!” we glanced at them, understood their real value, slid our eyes & minds sideways to assess the benefits & got hypnotized by them instead? How different would life be if we took that stance? You can eat the best foods on the planet & exercise until you haven’t a shred of fat on your body (NOT a healthy state, by the way), but until you change your mindset you can still be “old”. I define “oldness” as brittleness, lack of fluidity, rigidness & lack of curiosity of the mind & body. It’s an imprisonment of our own making.

There’s no need to chase the fountain of youth; it’s been with you your entire life. Getting moving, being conscious of what goes on your plate & in your mouth will definitely help. Poor eating habits & not moving much are great ways to bring on depression, a sense of helplessness & a dull mind & spirit, but what will really get those desired changes to stick has to come from the inside. Treat yourself to a little adventure & think of the possibilities. Invincibility feels awesome at any age!

Finally the year turns! For those of us who follow an earth centered spiritual path & have adopted the Wiccan Wheel of the Year as a guide to celebrations, Halloween is more than just a day to dress up & be silly, though Goddess knows we can all use more dressing up & being silly in our lives. Halloween (Samhain) is a day to remember & honor our ancestors, both personal & global. Those who have gone before us have gifted us with so much, the most obvious of which is our lives & lifestyles. They have given us the traditions which help us find our way in the world; they have gifted us with our culture which gives us a starting point in interacting rightly with others & ourselves; they have passed on to us their experiences which help shape our world view, help us to discern both what’s right & not right for us. The ancestors have taught by example both what is a good way to be & express ourselves & what is an absolutely wrong way to go about living. We owe them too much to recount, but keeping a gratitude journal helps.

My boys, Dmitri (then 10) & Aidan (then 6) Halloween 2005

Not all ancestors are old & any who are close to death are worthy of our respect because they are almost ancestors. Yes, even the infant on death’s door, painful as it may be. We honor ALL who have died before us, no matter how recent & thank them for their gifts. Someday we will make the same journey & though rememberances may be of no importance to US once we die, it is certainly important to those we leave behind.

I do not personally fear death. I have no reason to. The completion of a life well lived as well as the life ill spent is the same. It is part of the life cycle. By honoring the dead & even mocking death as many do in Halloween fun, we make some measure of peace with the inevitable. It is said the veil between the worlds is thinnest on Halloween night. I think when we mock death, death laughs & celebrates with us. To honor & mark with celebration the flip side of life is appropriate & necessary. It reminds us to make the most of our time here, to be the best selves we can be & that is the greatest gift we could ever give to ourselves & to those who will come after us: to live authentically as ourselves, lighting the path for others to do likewise. Happy Halloween! May the ancestors continually bless & watch over you!

When I was training dogs, one of the most important things I would tell clients, especially clients of fearful &/or reactive dogs is that if your dog is looking at it, she is thinking about it. The moment you notice her thinking about it you need to get her focus off it somehow: play a game with the “thing”, leave the area, act like it’s no big deal & engage her in a fun game with you, etc. but whatever you do DON’T allow her to keep staring at “it”. Her focusing on “the thing” will magnify her concerns & cause “the thing ” to become “THE THIIINNNGGGG!!!!” at which point you’ll either have a dog doing her best to shrink small enough to drown in the puddle she just let fly as she does her best imitation of teleporting to the furthest coast or you’ll have a canine Tazmanian Devil impersonator doing a really good job of yanking your arm out of the socket. Either way, NOT good. The same concept applies to humans, believe it or not.

Here’s a scenario for you: Manfred & Sarah are newly dating. They’ve been dating a couple of months & had gone to dinner the night before. Sarah is a single mother of 2 children, has a major dealine at work & got drafted into helping her youngest child complete a costume at the last minute for a school function. She’s very pleasant but a little distracted at dinner & cuts the date short so she can get home & get some sleep. Normally they contact call* daily & especially after a date, but Sarah’s pretty focused on getting that project completed ahead of the deadline since she prides herself on the quality & timeliness of her work; kids & work are all she has brain space for at the moment. Manfred has no idea what’s going on (Sarah didn’t inform him & he didn’t ask) & starts wondering if Sarah’s getting bored with the relationship or perhaps has decided to see someone else. At first it’s just a little whisper. It’s just “a (little) thing”. As the morning goes on, he starts analyzing their conversations “looking for answers”; he starts getting concerned & it is now “a thing”. By mid day he’s devoted so much time & focus to “looking for answers “the thing” has now grown into “an issue”. At the end of the day the “issue” is huge & by the time he gets home he can’t get into the door fast enough because “THE THIIINNNGGG!!!!!” is ginormous & could swallow the Golden Gate Bridge on an in breath! He calls Sarah & starts accusing her of not being honest with him about wanting to end the relationship, leaving Sarah feeling defensive, angry & scratching her head. What just happened?

Our guy Manny just illustrated the effects of attention. In the words os Serge Kahili King of Urban Shaman fame “Energy flows where attention goes”. If Manfred had managed to get his thoughts elsewhere (ie. major deadlines of his own, planing for an upcoming visit from family) “the (little) thing” would have stayed exactly what it was : a little thing. Perhaps it would have even become not-a-thing. By giving his attention to “the (little) thing” it was like feeding it Amazing Super-Grow Food for Things. The more attention it got, the more it grew in importance in his mind. “Things” need attention to flourish. It’s what happens when, for instance, some people first notice the calendar date getting closer to bill time. The further they are from bill time, the less anxiety they feel. By the time bill time is a mere five days way they’re so anxious they’re almost paralyzed. Bill day comes & goes with bills either hastily done at the last minute or not done at all until late fees are due along with the original amount & they can’t stand the phone calls anymore. They spent so much time worrying about paying the bills that they almost didn’t get paid! This is what happens when we turn not-a-thing into a “thing”; it gets so huge it scares the bejeezus out of us & we end up making frantic, ill-thought-out or just downright stupid choices.

So how to keep from creating “THE THIIINNNGGG!!! – Towering Monster of Isatiable Madness”? (You have noticed “things” are insatiable haven’t you? No? They are. You’ll run out of energy to give long before they run out of capacity to receive.) Start by not giving it the time of day. Yes, really. Notice if it’s something important, jot it down & forget about it until you can rationally deal with it. Worrying about it will certainly give you the appearance of doing something about it, but in reality all you’re doing is pickling your innards in stress hormones & setting yourself up for a lovely heart attack. Set aside some time when you’re most likely to be relaxed or at least more relaxed than usual & pull out your “thing”. How many components make it up? Is there some small action you can take to make your “thing” even smaller? For example, if bill day gives you the heebies, how about writing out a few checks weeks in advance, plucking the low hanging fruit of writing checks for the major stuff & putting them in sealed, stamped envelopes so they’re all set to go out? Come bill day proper there will be whole lot less stress, you can knock out the tiny one-shot bills (which doesn’t feel half as scary as writing ten checks of varying amounts all at once) & not end up feeling like the poorest man in Babylon when you’re done. In our guy Manfred’s case, he could have made a note to himself to talk to Sarah about what’s going on in her life at a time when he was feeling more grounded & gone on with his day.

Just like other animals on the planet, whatever we devote our attention to grows in magnitude. Our attention feeds whatever we focus on. You can use the same principles for growing a “thing” to grow something you truly desire; energy flows where attention goes, remember? It doesn’t matter what you’re focusing on; where ever your attention is there your energy will be also – & there will grow larger whatever it is you’re attending to. The same tools & fertile soil can be used to grow a beautiful garden or a patch of noxious weeds; all that matters is the intent. What are you intending with your tools & fertile ground? Would you love to have a life filled with beautiful things that make your heart smile or would you rather a plot of stumpy, gruesome “THIIINNNGGGSSSS!!!!” that threaten to swallow you whole or bite off chunks of you until you bleed to death? The choices – & the attention – are yours.

* contact calling – parrots (& perhaps other birds) do what’s called contact calling: calling to their mate just to keep an idea of where they are when they can’t see each other. Among humans this takes the form of texting or emailing little smiley faces, “I love you” notes, instant messaging just to touch base, etc. throughout the day. It’s a way of letting the other person know you’re thinking about them.

I watched an episode of Oprah’s Life Class last night for the first time. I believe it was episode 2 or the second Friday or some such. Anyway, She had Iyanla Vanzant on as guest/cohost. A thoroughly enjoyable show! I highly recommend watching if you get the opportunity. Someone commented that Oprah should call OWN “empowerment tv”; I agree! At least from the perspective of the Life Class show, not only does it inspire, but it also gives you some of the tools to make much needed changes in your life.

There was a section where a woman called in via Skype & was speaking of feeling stuck in her life. Iyanla took her through some questioning to find out exactly what she meant by stuck. In her description of her “stuckness” a very interesting thing happened: she started off saying “I” & switched repeatedly to the third person, saying “YOU can’t do (fill in the blank) when you have a child” & “YOU have to do (fill in the blank) when YOU (again!!!) have a child or certain responsibilities”, etc., etc. & so forth. Iyanla is so spot on, catching the woman in her confusion, pointing it out & telling her she needed to own all of herself, including her limiting beliefs then going on to help her do just that. Awesome stuff! I got to thinking about it, though. While I certainly see Iyanla’s point & find it helpful/useful, I recognized something else.

Everytime the woman switched from “I” to “YOU” her tone would change slightly. Her posture even shifted little. She was speaking with “someone else’s voice”. She had internalized someone else’s expectations & rules for her life & was spitting them out as rationalizations for not taking action towards what she truly wanted for herself & her child. How do I know? I’ve done similarly in my own life & when I justify & defend my limitations even just to myself I hear the nasty nay sayers in my head speaking in their own voices. Someone else is taking up my head time & making use of my mouth & I’m allowing them to do so. When I examine the thoughts before allowing them into my soul I can discern who it is that’s speaking; I can even take myself right to the moment I first heard them utter whatever nonsense they’re spewing & I bought in without pausing to verify their truth or lack thereof. (By the way, any limitations you defend you get to keep.) When I pay attention I can head them off at the pass. Am I perfect at it? No. But I have gotten better over the years. When I let my guard down & something icky slips through I do catch it eventually. The catch time is getting shorter & shorter. Eventully I will have enough speed & attention to catch the buggers before they even get close to my boundaries & you can do likewise! Here’s how to get started.

Make a habit of feeding you mind & spirit with good stuff: positive, life affirming tv, books & audio. A couple of my all time favorites are Tony Robbins & Mama Gena. Feast on the good stuff: you ARE worth it! Avoid nay sayers & complainers like the plague (they’re far, far worse than the plague & will drag. You. Down.) Keep news papers & broadcasts to a minimum or ditch them altogether. For some reason the news media has decided the only news fit to report is gloom & doom. Anything pleasant & wonderful never makes the cut. You won’t be ignorant of happenings; plenty of people will be more than happy to update you if you should ever feel the need to know. Speaking of people updadting you, they’re often like the news media: they only think to tell you when something “bad” happens. You’ll have to play detective: after they blubber on your shoulder about their latest life’s disaster (make sure to keep the blubbering short, to the point & DON’T join in) ask them for news of something good in their life. It’ll probably be a bit of a shock to their system & they’ll likely pause while searching for an answer to their question. Yes, they’ll also likely return in short order to the complaining, but keep redirecting the conversation & consequently the energy. If they’re insistent on wallowing feel free to find a reason to end the conversation for your own sanity’s sake. There’s no rule that says you must get mud all over you in order to be a “good friend”. Eventually a new thing will develop; as people notice you’re not a good pitty partier anymore they’ll either stop inviting you & happily party with you in your new place or they’ll leave you alone. Your life will fill with people willing to get out of the mire of the mullygrubs, you’ll feel better & the nasty voices in your head will get less & less fodder to live on. You’ll have started charging them rent! Seeing as how they’re essentially bankrupt they’ll run out of their stored assets & will be forced to shut down all operations.

The nasties don’t go away, so you will need to be vigilant in what you feed yourself, the company you keep. And they are clever: they’ve lived in your head a very long time & will try to find new ways to beat you up & make you think they’ve gone silent. Just watch what comes into your thoughts & out of your mouth & see how it makes you feel. If you feel lousy, examine the thought. It may at first seem like it’s yours, even after scrutiny. Dig deeper & you’ll find a nasty at the end, though. Don’t spend too much time in examination, however. Your attention feeds the nasties. Just knowing that you feel lousy is enough; you can be ready with counter measures to get yourself back on track. You don’t have to allow the nasties in your head to live rent free or use your person to beat you down & keep you from the life you want. Now you have a few of the tools I use regularly to help you. Give them a try & see how they work for you. Also, feel free to share some of your ideas with me in the comments below! The more tools we have at our disposal the more likely we are to be successful in silencing the nasties in our heads for good.

I’ve been on an interesting journey lately tring to tweak my diet so it works well for me in just about every instance & keeps me feeling in top shape. I’m willing to be uncomfortable until such time as a workable solution (for now) presents itself. Rest assured that whatever I come up with will be vegan; that won’t change. Whether it’s entirely raw or includes some cooked items is still in the works. I LIKE some foods that simply can’t be replicated in a raw diet – at least not yet. (Sopapillas anyone?) Am I interested in leaving those items behind? Possibly but not necessarily. And good health doesn’t mean I have to. I’m not talking about munching twinkies, eating fast food take out or suddenly eating everything out of a package. My favorite items run more towards black beans, brown rice & toasted nori snacks. And I really do enjoy baking. So, yes I am tweaking my diet to find a way to make it work for my preferences & my lifestyle. What else am I up to? Enter unusual health practices.

Last week I came across a rather unusual YouTube posting from one of my Facebook contacts. She interviewed some people who run an alternative healing center in Costa Rica (Farm of Life Health Retreat) who practice sun gazing. Yes. It’s exactly what it sounds like: gazing into the sun. I know! I know! It sounds like the dumbest thing to hit the pike since, oh I don’t know eating rocks maybe? We’ve all been told since childhood “Don’t stare into the sun or you’ll go blind!” (Raise your hand if you tried it anyway just to see if the grown ups were right. ::raising hand REALLY high & waving while jumping up & down::) Well, now there are people telling you not only to gaze into the sun, but they’re saying it’s good for you! Not one to hear something bizarre, relatively harmless-sounding, potentially beneficial & free & not test it out for myself (urine therapy excluded; I believe pee is excreted for a reason & reingesting it on purpose….) I decided to give it a shot & see what happens. Following directions to gaze at sunrise & sunset in short increments (it’s advised to start small with ten seconds & increase in ten second increments daily) I went out that evening, stood barefoot on bare ground (of course barefoot; I only wear shoes when/if I have to) & gazed into the setting sun. I tried to gaze for ten seconds but a strange thing happened: once I relaxed my whole body I craved the sunlight, my eyes didn’t flutter & I could gaze for minutes instead of seconds. It was as if my eyes were glued to the sun. I followed the sun with my gaze as it set behind a neighbor’s house & was disappointed when I was no longer able to gaze into it. It felt amazingly nourishing, especially to my eyes.

The next morning I was out sun gazing again. I immediately noticed a difference in the quality of the light at sunrise & sunset; sunrise is a lot stronger! Still, when I relaxed completely I was able to stare directly into the sun without harm & again I felt nourished. Since nothing bad was happening I decided to keep going to see what long-term results I’d get from the practice. One thing I noticed immediately was my eyes began to itch & get mucousy. It was a deep, internal healing sort of itch. I’m allergic to eye make-up & avoid it due to the lovely mucous clouds that drift across my eyes & glue them shut whenever I do wear it just because I feel like it. (Yes – dumb, I know.) It seems sun gazing was bringing this lovely condition to the fore & was healing it! My eyes began craving the sunlight. I found myself drawn to standing in the courtyard with my face to the sun letting the sunlight bathe my eyes. Of course, during the middle of the day I was NOT staring into the sun, just turning my face directly into it. My eyes don’t yet have the strength to stare into midday sun & I’m not so sure that’s the point of the exercise. A nice added benefit is that now most sunlight at any time of day no longer seems to bother me. Obviously, if I’m driving & the sun is directly in my eyes I drop the sun shade; I do need to see when I’m driving & most people (including me) appreciate me preventing my car from crashing into them or any nearby objects. But it’s nice to be able to see in situations where I was previously unable.

Another unexpected effect of sun gazing has been my need for less & less food. This I find to be a bit of a mixed blessing. I LIKE food. A LOT!!! Please don’t leave me alone with a lovely plate of cookies or scones & expect them to be untouched. It’s simply not going to happen. I like eating; it’s one of life’s greatest pleasures. When life offers me a simple pleasure I’m right there! The thing is, I only find eating pleasurable if I’m hungry. At times, hungry or not, I find it a chore. Eating when I’m not hungry becomes instant torture as my blood pressure goes up & my pulse races. Feeling stuffed is not a sensation I enjoy. I already have a small appetite, so taking away more of that leaves me eating like I did a couple of days ago: two apples, a liter of green smoothie & water. Not exactly food fun for someone who loves food. But again, I am willing to be uncomfortable to allow beneficial changes to take place. New habits are always uncomfortable because, well they’re NEW!

So, here I am trying a new thing, enjoying said new thing & creating new habits of health & healing. Since this is a long-term experiment & I just started less than a week ago I haven’t a lot of deep changes to report. My eyes are still healing & craving the sunlight, but they aren’t shrouded in mucous anymore (thankfully); my sinuses have joined in the healing jag & symptoms I’d thought long past have returned, albeit in a milder form. It takes a lot less food to get me to “stuffed” & I had a few days where even the thought of food made me nauseous. Where is this going? I have no idea. I suspect it’ll be one of those things I adopt like morning pages & barefoot living that just becomes a part of my daily life. At some point I won’t even think about it anymore. But I do plan to keep going until I’ve gained enough insight to report further on what I find. There may be others who may benefit from what I share. That’s the whole point of healing, isn’t it? You learn, experiment, experience & share. At least that’s what it’s all about for me!

During my morning meditations I noticed my womb seemed to carry odd cold spots, little frozen places where the energy was stuck. At first I thought nothing of it, content to go about my life as usual. It began to dawn on me that I was getting feedback, there was a message in that chill. At first I tried all the conventional alternative methods I knew for moving stuck energy, thinking this was just another matter of me needing a physical healing. I laid hands over my womb, drew energy from Heaven & Earth & poured it into my womb, allowing the energy to thaw & eventually warm the chill spots. The next day there they would be again as though I had done absolutely nothing. A little frustrating to be sure, but I figured some things take time to heal & this was one of those things that needed plenty of attention & energy. I thought perhaps it was depleted in the cold areas. Finally I was lead to simply do nothing. Allow my womb to be as it was & it would eventuly tell me what was needed. It did. Eventually.

The Goddess is never late. Ever. She is always right where She needs to be when She needs to be there. I was lead to talk, yes TALK to my womb. Not only was I to talk to my womb, but just as importantly or maybe moreso, I was to LISTEN to what she had to say in response. So I listened. I paid attention. My womb had plenty to say; there was plenty in that stuckness for me to feel fully & to thoroughly process. I learned that indeed my womb was blocked though not depleated, her fountain sluggish. The energy was there, it just had nowhere to go because I wasn’t regularly & thoroughly using my gifts. There was no outlet for the well, no one drawing water so a fresh supply could come in & replenish things. I noticed that I was very thirsty. If you go long periods without a drink you begin to dry up from the inside out. I was becoming energetically mummified. Mummies may be fascinating, awe inspiring, even, but no one has ever accused them of being beautiful. I am quite vain in many respects; I want nothing about me to resemble a mummy ever. So again I sat & I listened.

I have a habit of ignoring my talents in the interest of being “practical”. My gifts aren’t of the mathematical or business variety. I am more of the fuzzy, artistic type. I write. I ply with animals. I do energy work. Not exactly the sort of thing that comes to mind as “practical”. But ignoring these parts of myself results in general unhappiness, undirected anger, fatigue & listlessness. I love living full-tilt & then writing about it, especially when that life includes interesting places, my dogs & Ibi. I get so pumped full of ideas when I spend hours exploring a trail with my pups, seeing the fabulousness of nature, meandering round town, twirp or parrot in tow, finding local treasures or helping bring a smile to an unfamiliar face & then coming home to my ‘puter to tell of the day’s adventures. I also find that no matter how much I truly adore such meanderings I can get pretty caught up in the draggy day-to-day of life unless I have a commitment to doing some outside thing. I get gripey & bitchy about the amount of faith required on my part to accept that what I’m doing will bear sufficient financial fruit. The Lady is always on time & never late. I know this. It sometimes requires a larger dose of faith than I can muster to not only accept this Truth but to remember that She hasn’t actually forgotten about me entirely, put me on celestial hold & gone on vacation. This is absolutely not easy, no matter how much others may comment on my seemingly great faith. Things always look greater than they are when you’re looking from the outside in.

So now I have learned to check in with my womb regularly. There are times when it’s all fire; I know then I am on track. Other times – like lately – I can feel the cold seeping back in. Time to clear the well & allow the waters to flow clean & copiously again. I often put my writing & alone time aside for others; what womb talk has taught me is that I must maintain those things for myself or I will suffer & be utterly useless to those I so readily give my time to help. I have no idea what the equivalent to womb talk would be for men, but considering I am literally connecting with the creative principle within me there must be something similar for my beloved brothers to access within themselves if only they’d care to look & listen.*

The Lady never makes mistakes, though She may experiment from time to time. We are co-creators with Her in the microcosm of our lives & the macrocosm of the world & universe around us. We can access this creative principle, this life source readily within ourselves. It’s not always easy & we don’t always want to hear what our wombs have to say, but if we are to live fully, authentically from the depths of our truest selves then we have to make the time to speak, ask & truly LISTEN to the answers of our wombs. This is that part of ourselves most in touch with the Lady, the place of connection to & communion with Life. It can seem a swirling mass of chaos & most likely is; this is where things are created, conceived & eventually spring forth as infants ready to be further shaped, whittled & smoothed by bumping up against other ideas, both those of others & those within ourselves. What appears to be chaos is all over again the primordial soup, the idea swirl from which all creation ushers forth. Frightening at times, absolutely. But here is where we need to go, the place we need to keep in touch with. Wondering whether this is the correct path we’re on? Checking in with our wombs will let us know if we are willing to listen, to own that powerful, beautiful, terrifying source within ourselves.

*As I am not male I have an idea where this source may be located within men but can not verify it since I possess a female form & don’t know yet how to enter a living male & explore (or perhaps I do know but am loathe to admit it). I learn & share from experimentation & this sort of exchange would require a huge amount of trust on my part, not to mention on the part of the man whose body I would be sharing for the duration of my explorations. Just know my beloved brothers that this source of power, beauty & creativity is within you as well. Play around with searching it out, with listening. When you find it let’s compare notes; I’d love to chat with others about their experiences & explorations!

There are many ways to fast. I am not very good at the food deprivation thing, though I will deliberately eat sparingly to help my body cleanse. Usually I just follow when my body says it’s not hungry & go with that. It can go on for days or even a couple of weeks. I honor those inner promptings & follow where they lead. Food is just one form of fasting because it’s only one form of nourishment. There is also what we feed our minds & spirits & that’s equally, if not more, important. What we put into our minds becomes our dominant thoughts, which become our behaviors, which become how we present ourselves to the world & shape who we eventually become.

I have undertaken media fasts many times & just like food fasts I find myself feeling lighter & more engaged with the world & the Divine once I end my fast. The funny thing about media fasting is I never feel the desire to take up old habits once the fast is in process & I’ve adjusted to the change. This adjustment can be instant due to feeling an overwhelm of negative input (ever notice how the only “news” people & the media ever feel pressed to share is overwhelmingly unpleasant?) or more gradual when I reallize I’m spending too much time feeding on mental junk food. Massive intake of negativity contributes to the really destructive, unsupportive habits of grouchiness, negative thinking/expectations, poor self-talk & chronic complaining. Instead of looking for the beauty in the world, we consistantly look for (& find) only ugliness, evil workings & despair. We feel justified in our negativity: “See? There’s all this stuff WRONG with the world! How can I find anything GOOD among all this trash?” It’s a self perpetuating cycle, like a kind of spiritual Candida infection. We never stop to ponder how we are contributing to our poor mental state or the fact that the means to change it is completely & solely within our control.

I have been fasting from my developed habit of chronic grumpiness & complaining lately. It’s a simple matter but not an easy one. Up until now I neglected to notice that I was still taking in huge doses of negativity in my daily comings & goings. I pondered why I seemed to have so much trouble deleting swearing, complaining, grouchiness & a general negative attitude from my behavioral tool kit. Gone are the days when I can simply ignore the news because I don’t read the papers or watch tv news. I am connected to all manner of potential negative input through the use of social media like Facebook & Twitter.

I need to be even more discerning than before. Now I am aware & have begun making the necessary changes. My fast has become easier. The usual outpouring of gunk that happens at the beginning of a fast is taking place. It’s uncomfortable, but necessary. Detox comes in all forms & with all fasts. Here’s to many more dances of true happiness in my future. I inite you to join me & see the world as the beauty-filled place that it is!

I decided to make a new blog devoted to my twirps (a.k.a. my dogs) & any & all things doggy. That way I can go on & on about my dogs without concern that visitors aren’t interested in my furry family members & don’t want to get interested. No, it doesn’t mean I won’t ever speak of four-footed furries here, just that I have a special space for them on the web just like I have in my life. There! Was that smarmy enough for you? Find it at Still Life With Twirps!

Pipette (ie. Pie Plate, Pipes, Princess Prickle Pants)

Ruthie Roo (Roobarb, Goo-roo, Goofy Roo)

Hobbit a.k.a Mr. Bouncy